Ten Things To Remember
/1. You have all you need.
Early on, we are taught to want more and be more. Just look at a magazine rack for the former, and the self-help section of any bookstore for the latter. Like a rip tide in the ocean, it is easy to get caught up and taken out to sea, but the truth is you have enough and are enough. When girls in your dorm have the latest this or that, look the other way and appreciate what you have. When someone can do something you cannot, remind yourself of some of the things you’re good at. You are one of a kind, an original work of art, not a print. Don’t try to be someone else. It never works and is such a waste.
2. This moment is a gift.
Look at the moment before you like a present under the tree with your name on it. Open it, appreciate it, and then play with it. Sometimes we don’t open it because we are afraid of what’s inside, or we don’t like its shape or size. or hope something better will be given. As a result, we miss the present in our hands. Appreciate whatever it is, and remind yourself how nice to be given a gift at all. Then play with it. Don’t put it on a shelf for later or to protect it. It was given to be used. Brake it in. Wear it out!
3. Take the ball.
It is so easy to let others take the ball and try to score. That way you won’t mess up. We get the ball then quickly pass it to someone else, or, even worse, stand where we will never even touch the ball. We focus on the messing up and not taking the shot. Playing it safe will get you to the end of the game, but, in the end, you really won’t have played. The more you resist the temptation to play it safe, the more safe you will feel to take a risk.
4. The blessing of a skinned knee.
When I first heard the title of this book, I knew what it was about. We trip and fall. We hurt ourselves (and others), but what is remarkable is how those trips and falls can make us more alive. (I’m not going to say better . . . go back to number 1) The crack in the vase is what lets light in, the skinned knee is what teaches us how to walk or run with greater strength. This one isn’t easy, but it’s true. Embrace your mistakes. They’re your greatest teaching moments.
5. You’re a work in progress.
The temptation to focus on the moment, and think it is all there is, can be dangerous. To focus on what you are like as a freshman and think you will always be this way, or that some situation now will last forever, is to limit yourself to one chapter of a much longer book. Read the chapter you are in fully, but remember it is just a chapter. It is leading to the next and is just one in a much longer book.
6. So are other people.
Everyone is doing the best they can to make it through this confusing thing called “life.” Some go through it in a way that looks effortless. Don’t believe it. Some travel slowly and struggle. Knowing they are trying to travel just like you are can change everything when you are sitting together talking in the dorm. Rather than judging, you could all compare notes about what has happened to you and what you have learned along the way. We keep too many secrets because we are embarrassed. Someone once said heaven is when we sit in a circle, share our secrets, and laugh. I hope you find such a heaven while sitting in your pajamas in a circle of companions with a bowl of popcorn.
7. There’s an audience of one.
As a recovering performer, I know how easy it is to live to please others. To get their attention, hear their encouragement or applause is as big a temptation as any, but it brings with it the risk of not being your true self. You become a puppet with people’s approval becoming the strings that make you move. I believe there is only one other who matters, and it is the God who created you. You were made by Him and His opinion is the only one that matters. Try to be who you were created to be, not who others want you to be. (I like the expression: “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.”)
8. Celebrate life
You have been given the gift of life, not just in the big sense, but in the specific day and moment you find yourself. Think of it as a dance and a hand has been extended to you. Right now. Get up and take the hand. Dance with all your heart and embrace every opportunity that comes your way. Think of all those who do not have that invitation. Dance, dance, dance!
9. Look beyond specifics
I once read that there are two ways to look at life, one as if there are no miracles, the other as if all of life is a miracle. Be sure to look beyond the specifics of each day and moment and see the sacredness of it all. There is so much more to life than what is seen on the surface. Yes, as I know I say too often: “There’s a sermon in that!” Develop your ability to see. Life in all its ordinariness is extraordinary, if we but have the eyes to see, ears to see, and hearts to feel.
10. Give thanks.
An attitude of gratitude will carry you far. It will get you beyond yourself, and remind you that you have been given this gift called “life.” No one else has been given the same gift you have been given. Be grateful that you have the family you do. Be grateful you have the opportunity to go to this school. Be grateful you get a new day, a new opportunity for whatever is coming your way. What a gift life is. Give thanks.
EXTRA CREDIT: Remember you are as loved as any child has ever been. Now go and live.